The Kagan’s Have Left the Building Temple

“Life is a series of hello’s and goodbye’s.  I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again.”  Billy Joel

Earlier this summer, after six years at Temple Ner Tamid in Bloomfield, NJ, Amy and I resigned as Youth Group Advisors (Senior and Junior).  The primary reason for this action was our need (and desire) to spend more of our non-work time with Sophie, 5, and Noah, 2.  Bottom line—while we LOVE spending time with, and touching the lives of, the teens we have had the pleasure to serve, we don’t want to miss this important and fun time in the lives of our own children.

This decision certainly wasn’t easy, capping a journey that began for me more than 30 years ago when I joined Sinai Temple Youth Group in Michigan City, IN, and, for Amy, slightly more recently when she affiliated with Beth Chaim in Princeton Junction, NJ.  Since those auspicious beginnings, we both have spent countless hours planning or managing programs, chaperoning at events, counselling teens, and wrapping ourselves in the joys of the North American Federation of Temple Youth (NFTY). 

In finding outlets as adults for our love of youth grouping and Judaism, we have been extraordinarily blessed.  I served as youth group advisor at Oak Park Temple in Chicago for 14 years while Amy served as NFTY-GER advisor for four years before we teamed up for six years at Ner Tamid in New Jersey.  These experiences enabled us to give back to hundreds of Jewish teenagers the support, encouragement and love we were fortunate to find ourselves.  And it also allowed us to introduce our kids to it.  Sophie loves song sessions, and Noah even experienced his first regional friendship circle in April by wandering out into the middle of it, not at all intimidated by participating with 200 teens.

Luckily for us, we still have a strong connection to the movement and the teens that define it through our work with the Kutz Camp.  I first found that magical place in 1983, and have spent at least parts of 10 summers there, returning after a long hiatus in 2004 to teach leadership and meet (and fall in love with) Amy.  I will continue to serve as a Camp Committee Vice Chair, while also serving on Faculty.  This summer, Amy again served on the Wellness Team, assisting our entire community to be healthy, engaged, and productive while at camp. 

Before closing, some well-deserved thank you’s:

n  To the “instigators” or “facilitators”, those who got us involved in various ways:  Joe Prass in Chicago, and Lee Karrow and Maurie Stern in Oak Park.  Rex Perlmeter/Rachel Hertzman in Bloomfield.

n  To the clergy teams we worked with and learned from:  Rabbi Gary Gerson, Cantors Alane Katzew and Julie Yugend Green in Oak Park; Rabbi Steve Kushner and Cantor Meredith Greenberg in Bloomfield.

n  To the NFTY regional advisors we had the pleasure to collaborate with:  Joe Prass, Ken Heinrich, Dave Locketz, Barbara Rooks, Isaac Saposnik, Amanda Meyer (Radman) and Beth Avner (Rodin) in Chicago.  Miriam Fink and Pam Schuller in New Jersey.

n  To the other TYG advisors we worked with:  You are too numerous to count and identify.  Hopefully, you know who you are AND how much you inspired us to be better each and every day.

n  To the families who trusted us with your children:  We knew that, whether we were in the temple watching a movie or traveling cross-country to NFTY Convention, we were more than just “in loco parentis”…we were committed to making sure that each teen was safe, happy and meaningfully engaged.  Special shout-out to the Wainers who not only trusted us with their children, but made us part of their family.

n  Extra-special shout-out to Traci Stratford and Jessie Wainer:  You know why.

n  To Melissa Frey, Director at the URJ Kutz Camp, with whom we continue to work, as well as love and respect.  Keep making magic, and we’ll be right by your side giving you whatever you need.

After so many years as a youth group advisor, this “saying goodbye” thing is incredibly hard.  We have been so very lucky to serve the Jewish community in so many ways, and we will miss our time with you all tremendously.  Is this the final chapter for us?  We certainly hope not, and will absolutely look for ways to contribute in ways large and small.  (Hint:  If you need us, reach out!)

NFTY, NFTY-GER, NFTY-CAR, OPTY, SNoTTY, NuTTY are more than just acronyms.  They are a fundamental part of the Kagan lexicon, and a vital part of our soul.

L’hitraot!